Why Losing Amy Pond Hurts

It's been a while! Hiatus shmaiatus I'm going to write something today that is incredibly important to our paper on why Amy Pond, or the loss of the Ponds in The Angels Take Manhattan was so incredibly painful and hard for many viewers. Certainly for me. It's been enough time I think for me to be able to write coherently about the subject (though don't play Amy's Theme and any of it's variations - oh wait I already am; true story Amy is sad because her themes are SAD). I know a lot of people didn't or don't like Amy, Jen certainly did not at first sight. The very first pictures of Matt Smith and Karen filming for series 5 I remember succinctly being the first to see them and showing Jen, Jen wanted nothing to do with her. Expletives were made (Matt Smith was also shouted at for his everything). But it came to pass that Amy won Jen over once the show launched (she waited an entire year before she watched it though, I was far ahead of her).

First, Amy Pond is unique in that we meet her as a child. This set up Moffat formerly explored in The Girl In The Fireplace. But it also sets up the very Peter Pan like set up of this mad figure appearing into her life.

 “She [Amy] is like Wendy in ‘Peter Pan’, she’s wearing a big silly nighty and a dressing gown and slippers. She returns to her childhood, on the night before her wedding, the night she’s supposed to grow up. She’s flown off with Peter Pan to have an amazing, mad adventure on a fairytale ship.”

—	Steven Moffat

 And this is a core element to our paper; that the explosion of the show's popularity, while simmering with the 10th Doctor came to full boil with the adaptation of the Peter Pan and intentional dark fairytale story of Amy Pond. Why was it so popular? Matt Smith's very "in" awkwardness and the 11th Doctor's attire and him being the youngest to ever play the Doctor certainly contributes, but the reason why people got SO attached to Amy Pond is that she is literally the Wendy that failed to go with Peter as a child, as we all fail to do (or pick your fantasy/sci-fi adventure or dream career  poison) but Amy unlike us and Reinette; Amy gets a second chance.

 The companions with Doctor Who have always had a vague wish fulfillment aspect alongside the Doctor to go with his shades of Peter Pan-like function but with Amy, she is the ultimate example of wish fulfillment and an audience surrogate. And viewers in the teen's to thirties range all over the world, particularly in America, could relate to that. Many have already experienced the disappointment of growing up and loosing childhood magic and belief. Many think we have moved on, but deep down, like Amy when we meet her again at age twenty-one and then twenty-three on the eve of her wedding: we have not. Amy's second chance with her "imaginary" friend from when she was seven years old; that second chance of magic and adventure despite being all grown up is the ache and want of many young adults and even adults who are "all grown up". We want to see Wendy as an adult be able to go be with Peter, even if she herself does not want to go. That's the audience projecting their desires onto the characters.

So we in a sense because we see Amy from the start, with her backstory of meeting the Doctor then him leaving; it sets it differently as she by the time he comes back already has him wrapped up in her life and personal mythology. And then to see the building rapport between Amy and the Doctor and the close, extremely close kinship they develop over supposedly on and off 200 years HIS TIME.Their friendship is despite the early bumps and Amy's flirtations is extremely sincere. It's SO deep due to that childhood connection. Most friendships and lovers should be jealous of how deep Eleven and Amy's bond created - hence Rory's truly reasonable concerns at first. Eleven's naive or more juvenile traits make this perhaps easier than ever before to truly bond past a romantic attraction as it is a perpetual back and forth of authority versus child with Amy. He treats her like a child- she treats him like a child. He fathers her often quite sternly (especially when agitated and in their first adventures). She mothers him. Like Donna they banter like equals, but in a different manner.

Doctor: No helpful hints?
Amy: Hm. Well, here's one. Bow tie: get rid. 

Eleven dotes on her like a child as well in which she openly obliges  (a good example is in Vampires In Venice after he heals her neck he pops a candy in her mouth or in either The Pandorica Opens or The Big Bang after she was drugged by the cyber-man and Eleven preens her afterwards). Amy at times though does seem to push back and claims to "not be so clingy". The funny thing with Amy and The Doctor; they switch places of dependency over time. Amy's own doting and authoritarian streak with the Doctor, as  becomes more mature; she becomes exactly what Wendy was supposed to be for Peter; a mother to the Lost Boys and to an extent Peter himself.

Moffat has gone on the record that Amy understands the Doctor incredibly well, so much so that perhaps even more than his current incarnation understands himself. Early in her travels without him sharing information she figures out quite a lot about him just by observation. She has on numerous occasions have made comments on the Doctor's inherent sadness or his susceptibility for getting upset and treats him much like a mother figure would when that occurs.

She scolds him in A Town Called Mercy for having flown around alone and throwing a giant temper tantrum all throughout the episode; saidd alone binge I feel took place after The Angels Take Manhattan. In fact most of Series 7 part 1 (after Asylum of The Daleks) I feel took place after the Ponds were rocketed back into the 1930s at least in the Doctor's timeline. We already know that part of the season was already out of order due to the mention of Rory's cell phone in Henry VIII's bedroom. The Doctor's sadness when dealing with them, particularly in Mercy as well as his going to give them an anniversary present in The Power of Three as well as he and Amy's exchanges in all those episodes seem to me he knows what is about to happen; the "fade away from me" line and talking to Brian Williams in particular is telling. 

The Doctor: One day—soon maybe—you'll stop. I've known for awhile.
Amy: Then why do you keep coming back for us?
The Doctor: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you were seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I'm running to you, and Rory, before you fade from me.
Amy: Don't be nice to me. I don't want you to be nice to me.
The Doctor: Yeah you do, Pond. And you always get what you want.

 Amy does gets what she truly wants in the end: Rory. But this exchange shows something that is curious and why in particular loosing Amy hurts A LOT. The phrase "fade away from me" which evokes the angels of course, but sounds so much more like it would be Amy saying it to him. Childhood magic, imaginary friends fade after their creators grow up. We never hear it from the other side. And now you have the childhood figure saying that to her; Amy, now in her early 30s  who has been seeing him on and off for twenty-four years. She's all grown up. Childhood doesn't want to let go of her, whereas before it was her still holding onto childhood. And the Doctor has taken the role of child; particularly now that Amy is technically his mother-in-law. And as an audience surrogate Amy fulfills a lot of niches in that role; many would love to be able to take care of the Doctor and be his friend and confidant. Many are just as sad as The Doctor, and would like such a romantic but platonic figure or friend as Amy Pond in their lives just as many want The Doctor or Peter Pan in their lives.

The clincher on WHY people, including myself got so utterly cut up once Amy finally decided to give up her adventures with the Doctor is exactly that; she choose to "grow up". We are suddenly in the Doctor's shoes. This mother-like best friend, confidant whom he has bugged for over twenty-four years total her time; is being wrenched away from him. Even River knows (something) or can see through the Doctor's childish grasping to hold onto Amy:

The Doctor: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the TARDIS, we'll figure something out.
Amy: The Angel, would it send me back to the same time, to him?
The Doctor: I don't know. Nobody knows.
Amy: But it's my best shot, yeah?
The Doctor: No!
River: Doctor, shut up! Yes, yes, it is!
The Doctor: Amy—
Amy: Well then. I just have to blink, right?
The Doctor: No!
Amy: It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll be with him like I should be. Me and Rory together. {calling River over} Melody.
The Doctor: Stop it! Just, just, stop it!
Amy: You look after him. And you be a good girl and you look after him.
The Doctor: You are creating fixed time. I will never be able to see you again.
Amy: I'll be fine. I'll be with him.
The Doctor: Amy. Please. Just come back into the TARDIS, Come along, Pond. Please.
Amy: Raggedy Man, goodbye.

There is also cut dialogue of the Doctor's (supposedly, is this based in fact?) from after Amy says
 "I'll be with him [Rory] like I should be." which further reinforces how desparate the Doctor acts:

"From your point of view. From mine, you'll just turn to dust. Please don't. Please don't do that to me...Amy. My Amelia. The first face this face saw

 We, like The Doctor, don't want Amy to go. His visceral incredibly selfish reaction; pleading, saying no, begging is all heartbreaking. " I will never be able to see you again." and "Come Along Pond PLEASE" carries such selfish weight. He sounded like a child, and it is a childlike reaction, and we get just as upset alongside him. She is finally firmly choosing Rory over him. We are loosing our audience surrogate.She's all fully grown up.

We selfishly, like the Doctor want Amy and Rory to be able to continue traveling alongside him or at least have him in their lives because WE want that relationship. We want to live vicariously through Amy because of her such long reaching influence with the Doctor. That is actually a lot to ask of her, and there is a time when she like the true Wendy, must grow up completely and thus her adventures must cease and be entrusted to her daughter. And it is obvious so long as the Doctor pops up; neither Rory nor Amy can commit or truly "live" an adult life. That severance of the mother/friend figure that obviously means so much to The Doctor is so painful and we feel the same way too because "our" second chance through Amy is being cut too. THAT is why Amy Pond is so sad. The girl who waited so long, like all of us, and then gets her wish. And we don't want it to end because it reminds us that our wishes for the same thing go relatively unfulfilled. There is also a lot of ties into the  puer aeturnus psychology and the feelings of loss associated with the phenomenon of growing up or the pain of separation which is a big part of I feel Eleven's character under Moffat and his writer's pens. More on that another time.

Many point out there are loopholes; there surely are ways he can go get the Ponds. I'm sure there ARE ways he could go and rescue the Ponds and go have fun with them until they're old and gray and they still die in Manhattan. Surely. If River can send Amy her novel, certainly there are ways. But that's not the point; Amy and the Doctor becoming severed fully from each other; it's symbolic of Amy fully growing up and thus the adventures must cease. And that hurts.

Though look at this way; The Ponds were sent to Manhattan the same place River was in the 70's seems all too coincidental to this particular writer. We really don't know what River was up to between the time she first regenerated in Day of The Moon and the next time we see her growing up in leadworth as Mels. She was hiding from The Silence after all (well sorta). That means (while they were older) both River Song and her parents were in the same city for quite a while....since it wasn't until the mid nineties that she'd be school friends with Amy and Rory as they were both born I think in 1989; my age. Since Rory and Amy don't die (if they were indeed sent back to 1938) until the late eighties and early nineties...I have a little hunch River might have ended up living with the elder Ponds as a child-teen for little bit and after they died made the trip to the UK to find them as children on Amy's command and then grow up with them again. Why else would River say "Hope my old man didn't see that, he gets ever so cross" comment even apply to any Rory she's seen or interacted with? I wouldn't call her ever being present while he was being cross. Sounds more like a much older Rory? Hmmm....what do you think? 50th special; scene of old craggy Ponds? Why were the Ponds epilogue with their adopted son and Brian Williams not filmed? Hmmm.

You have to remember if River was involved in their lives or not while in NYC; Amy and Rory lived LONG productive lives together and seemed to also adopt a child. Seeing them alive and older would most likely help soften the loss a bit I think; people forget they lived on. Think Moffat will throw in a bone or fill in some of River Song's narrative gaps? (le sigh probably not). 

But yes, that's the gist of it; many subconsciously (or consciously) want to be in Amy's shoes (care for the kidnapping, knock outs, dying, pregnancy, getting tied up a lot) because she gets that second chance at childhood. The beauty of her and the Doctor's relationship is also what makes it so bittersweet and even enhances its beauty in the end. As Idris said;

Idris: "Alive." I'm alive. 

The Doctor: Alive isn't sad. 

Idris: It's sad when it's over.

There is a bittersweet sting to the beauty of Amy's story because it simply ends. And like the Doctor; the viewers, we don't like endings. And it sucks. A lot. But like all stories, it can be retold over, and over. And Amy in effect somewhat does that; by telling the Doctor to return to her to tell her stories the morning after he left (as seen in The Big Bang when she looks up smiling after the Tardis sound awakes her) and then leave again; Amy essentially writes her own story and adventures, her whole existance as we saw it and thus ensures that always at the end The Doctor goes to tell her younger self the same stories hence creating a never ending cycle or loop; it always goes back to the start.

Oh, and one final note;  Jen does the same thing to Clara now as she did to Amy when she first saw her; mainly cursing her out especially after seeing the Christmas Special. You got HUGE shoes to fill Clara. Huge Scottish ginger shoes. 

Talk to everyone again real soon

- Max